Unlocking Harmonious Communication

Earlier this week I was speaking with a client when they asked me…

“How can I avoid miscommunication in a conflict?”

This is a common challenge for entrepreneurs, experts and leaders because they are visionaries. 

Their vision for the future can often get lost in their enthusiasm. I know this one well. 

When I was trying to reform a dramatically long wait as a GP partner, I expected everyone to align with MY vision. I was in my ego and not completely aware of how it came across. 

It took for me to learn compassion, meditation and self-awareness to delve deeper inside and see that my personal reality was reflected in my personality. To see an essential truth…

We all live in realities based on our beliefs, values and conditions we grew up in. 

Like the great Toltec sage Don Miguel Ruiz said…

"Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally. Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world."

I recently discussed this principle with a client. They had a profound identity shift and understood two vital pieces of information:

- How people respond to me reflects them

- How I respond to them reflects me

They decided to implement some simple strategies to tailor their communication to the other persons needs including:

- Writing things down

- Creating visual representations

- Scheduling time to talk instead of rushing into ideas

The results….

Fewer heated discussions, hours more time and painful heartache avoided. 

Compassion is the key, however it takes practice (I am still deep in my own practice!)

Start practicing now. 

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Here are my 8 principles to avoid miscommunication in conflicts:

1. The seed of understanding lies in compassion for yourself and others
2. Build bridges between you and them with commonalities
3. Paint your vision with your tone, words and body language
4. Use metaphors in relation to them
5. Accept, acknowledge and agree with their viewpoints
6. Thank them for challenging you
7. Silence is golden, you have nothing to defend
8. A smile is priceless, time it well - your happiness is not dependent on them

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Reply to this email to share your story.

Love,

Nilesh