5 Reminders for When You Are Feeling Demotivated or About to Give up

mind relationships Dec 02, 2022

This week I coached an inspiring, compassionate entrepreneur who has been tirelessly working yet not seeing results. 

This hurts - when you feel you're doing everything but not seeing the rewards at work, home or with your health. 

When you focus on the outcome and not the process, it's easy to give up. 

It's easy to believe that you're not good enough, loveable enough or worthy enough. 

The great spiritual texts, 'The Bhagavad Gita' and 'Tao Te Ching', speak of the importance of enjoying the process. 

"You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action." Gita

"Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity." Tao

And a third powerful quote from Columbia Business professor Srikumar Rao...

"Your work is not about your work. Rather your work is your greatest vehicle for your personal growth."

Nothing is ever wasted. Your efforts are worthwhile, you just haven't trained yourself to see it yet. 

Here are 5 reminders to compassionately help you stay motivated on your path to self-mastery.  

1. Align Your Future Identity

"You are not where you want to be because you are not being WHO you need to be." 

A few months ago, I joined a group of high-level coaches because I realised I was not embodying the kind of coach I wanted to be. 

Swimming in their energy has helped me raise my game, learn powerful practices and unleash my authenticity. 

The easiest form of motivation comes from the power of identity. The simplest way to shift your identity is to swim in the energy of who you wish to become. Never underestimate the power of social contagion.

Thousands of data points teach us that identity change is behavioural change. 

2. Create Novelty

Last year I came across 'The Molecule of More' - an astonishing book about dopamine.

This neurotransmitter is responsible for all our future actions, good and bad. Intentionally creating novel experiences elevates dopamine. This signals MORE to your body - the ultimate tool for motivation. 

This will help you enjoy the process, stay motivated and continue to elevate your game.  

3. Schedule Learning

Your next level on this journey comes from deeper awareness and understanding. 

The compassion principle of common humanity teaches us a powerful modern truth - 

"You are never alone in your struggles." 

When you schedule learning, your ability to transcend your challenges and move roadblocks increases.

The novice reacts to their problems, the master prepares for them.

Schedule a minimum of 1 hour a week to go deep on a skill relating to your purpose, that you enjoy, and watch your motivation rise. 

4. Be Of Service

"Your life is not about you, it's about the lives you touch." Neale Donald Walsch

Service is something that motivates all of us. Research demonstrates children's natural capability for compassion, even at a young age.

When you make your work about service, your motivation soars. 

'Be focused on what you are going to give, over what you are going to gain."

Compassion research also shows that, when you give without attachment, it activates the joy centre of your brain. 

The Dalai Lama calls this 'wise selfishness'. 

If you are struggling on your journey, ask yourself this question:

"Who am I doing this for?"

5. Love Is The Secret

A month ago I went to watch 'Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile' at the cinema with my son. 

This singing crocodile infused so much love into an anxiety-prone family that they all started living into their authenticity. 

It struck me - just like darkness is the absence of light, fear is the absence of love. 

If you are worried, anxious or afraid that you will not reach your goal, the truth is that you need more love in your life. 

Engage in instant self-compassion practices like movement, music and visualisations. 

To really elevate the abundance and love in your life, book a whole day to just do what you love. It doesn't need to cost - a long hike, meditation or reading a whole book in a day. 

I've been doing this recently, and it's been phenomenal. 


Enjoy these practices, and let me know how you get on with them. 


1 Quote

"Your life is not about you, it's about the lives you touch."

1 Question

What group can you join that will help you enjoy this journey?

1 Quality


You get what you expect. If you expect the best, your motivation doesn't wane. Train yourself to become more hopeful, not just for you but for the people who need you.  

Want to take the learning further?

Take the 3-minute free Compassionate Mastery Assessment 

Because it is a challenge to know where to start on your journey of flourishing without an evidence-based assessment. 

Take the assessment now!