7 Ways to More Fulfilling, Close and Connected RelationshipsOct 28, 2022
If you could have everything you ever wanted right now, but your close relationships were terrible, would you want it?
Connection is the key to fulfilment, but it is a challenge. Those around us trigger us.
I heard a powerful quote the other day:
"Your parents know how to push your buttons because they created your buttons."
What if you could learn to be more compassionate with those around you whilst still accomplishing your goals?
Here are 7 simple ways to improve your close relationships:
1. Avoid "you" in conflict
"YOU don't understand me"
"YOU don't even know me"
"How can YOU ask me to do that?"
Using the word YOU in conflict assumes the other person's intentions. We have no way of knowing anyone's intentions unless they are explicit.
Be explicit in conflict, and state your intentions. Match your nonverbal communication with your verbal.
2. Interest builds interest
With interest rates rising, interest is on the mind.
"Don't be interesting, be interested." Peter Drucker
When you are interested in others, you give them the gifts of respect and significance - some of our deepest desires.
Research shows that marriages often fail, not because of their perpetual problems, but because of a lack of growth.
Try constructively celebrating your children or those around you today. When they come up with a win, ask them about it in detail. Watch the benefits.
Other people's judgements hurt you more when you do not know yourself. Spending time in solitude activates a deeper connection with the person who matters most - you.
In US Surgeon General, Dr Vivek Murthy's, book 'Together', he states the importance of solitude to combat loneliness. This is because:
Openness is the antidote to loneliness.
Openness starts with yourself in solitude.
4. Know your currency
Relationships can feel overwhelming. You want to elevate your loved ones, but where to start? What do you focus on?
To improve your close relationships, focus on bringing two things - your full presence and positive energy. When you bring these vibes, watch how people around you respond.
A random act of kindness has incredible power. Do the unexpected and watch your loved ones light up.
Kindness incidentally will also protect your heart, reduce anxiety and depression and spread good vibes around your network. It is powerful stuff.
6. Smile with your eyes
You know when someone is being genuine - you can see it in their eyes.
Research shows that activation of the orbicularis oculi muscles, in the eyelids, during a smile may help with longevity. Feel good to help others feel good.
Set intentions before your interactions to bring your authentic self.
7. Consider others
In a world that is more disconnected than ever, go deeper. Look for the words behind the words. Consider others in your interactions.
Think about what they have been through that day and say:
"I sense things have been full on recently, would you like to chat?"
And wait. Put your tongue to the roof of your mouth and listen. It is incredibly valuable to be around someone who cares.
And caring feels good for you too.
Enjoy these practices, and let me know how you get on with them.
"Connection is the key to fulfilment."
What does someone close to you need that you could easily provide this week?
Be aware of yourself and others, what drives people around you and act accordingly with consideration.
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